Integration Journaling
For after a trigger or for deeper psyche work.

The fast track of unfolding the
love and beauty that you are!

Doing “the work” is finally mainstream! Woohoo! There is a variety of ways to do “the work” I love trying them all out. I hope the following version of “the work” will support you in finding more clarity & peace in your life as it continues to do for me.

Many of us had parents that did not know how to respond to our emotions or help us learn how to process our feelings, so you may be doing integration work for the very first time. Welcome to the ease and peace that processing brings.

The next time you feel the need to work through a difficult emotion or trigger or just want to work through subtle layers of the psyche…..
give this ritual a try!

We are often busy adults that need to “shelf things” until we have the time to work with them in our morning or evening spiritual practices. Keep a log to remember what you need to work on next time you integration journal and meditate.

STEP ONE:
RELEASE THE MESSENGER

Release the messenger comes from the radical healing book, The Presence Process by Michael Brown. In the beginning we must become aware when we are triggered and take some space.

When we take the time to investigate inward before we speak to the person that is triggering us there is a better chance that we can create a space for peace and understanding and not project our un-integrated emotions onto them. And the same for the other person involved.

Think of yourself as an existential detective on a fascinating case of self study of your vast inner-world. Simply excuse yourself from “the messenger” and let them know you will need some time and space to understand what is coming up.

This way, when you are ready, you will be able to communicate from a solid centered place. You will also be able to discover which stories are true and which stories were just in your head or a byproduct of an old belief you had about yourself.

Note: The more yoga, self study, meditation and integration work you do, you will become less reactionary and able to unpack triggers as they arise. You will know what is yours and what is not, and be able to communicate compassionately. There will be cases when it is not possible to take space. Lets say you are stuck in a car or stuck in a home with someone. In these moments it might be helpful to do this process at the same time and share your findings.

STEP TWO:
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF

It is 100% normal to be triggered or extra sensitive on the healing journey! You will learn to celebrate these moments and even give thanks for them as you continue to do integration work and deepen your morning and evening practice. All emotions and bodily sensations are teaching you something important. We must fully feel to heal! It is important to ride the wave of a trigger as authentically, safe and present as possible. Create a safe place that you can go at home to do this work. Be gentle with yourself as you begin to self study in this way. Be proud of yourself for having the awareness to go self soothe. As we now see in generations before us the “shoving things under the rug until they become old & moldy” method leads to health issues and a pastel life half-lived. But you are choosing to be bold and embrace all of life….and become healthier and whole as a bi-product of your new courageous nature. The “Evolutionary Questions” below will help you find grace and authenticity in your integration process 

STEP THREE:
BREATHWORK 

Breathing deeply for 12 minutes will help bring you into the moment. Long slow breaths! Challenge yourself to get to the point where you can inhale for 30 seconds and exhale for 30 seconds. Hack: Make a spotify playlist of songs you like to breathe deep with! Learn more about the power of breathwork from this Wim Hof podcast with Aubrey Marcus. Wim Hof has 25 Guinness book world records! By the way! This simple practice of conscious breath works! 

STEP FOUR:
PRAY

“I pray to find peace within me and to remember that time heals all wounds. Help me remember that nothing is permanent, and everything is constantly growing and changing. Help me embrace change in myself and others. Help me remember I have different seasons and chapters with different people for different reasons. Please show me who to share my intimate energy and time with. Help me find friends that prove their devotion to growth & compassion each day. Help me find my vibe tribe! Help me find the people that cherish me…. and see me …have the capacity to get me…...and can hear me on the deeper levels of communication. Help me continue to do the work it takes to attract friends of true depth. May they show up like a butterfly that lands gently on my shoulder. Help me find inner peace so I can find peace in all my relations.”

STEP FIVE :
POWER AFFIRMATIONS
Verbalize the following integration affirmations before you begin to journal! Notice which ones bring on “the feels”

1.) These emotions I feel are a gift from the Universe…they have arrived as a divinely wrapped gift to show me which parts of myself are ready to heal.

2.) These parts of me that are ready to heal are simply unprocessed emotions that desire the light of awareness to fully integrate.

3.) There is nothing to be ashamed of….. I am healing and growing. Sometimes I learn by way of contrast…and that’s aight!

4.) I heal by deepening my understanding of self and integrating all of the emotions that rise to the surface.

5.) The challenges in my life require a calm, clear, present mind to transmute the pain fully. I am practicing doing the work to feel all my emotions fully rather than numb them with mind altering substances, unhealthy food, distractions, projections, compulsive shopping and armoring.

6.) I am a courageous LION leaning into the emotional body like a true evolutionary warrior.  It is safe to feel. I feel fully to fully heal.

7.) The triggers that are coming from repetition compulsion (the same situation that happens over and over since childhood) tend to increase in intensity and frequency as we get older and continue to not face the storm. I will seek out therapy and counsel with trusted friends and professionals when the situation is bigger than my current state of consciousness. 

8.) I am the director of my life…co-creating my evolution with the universe… I am choosing to flip the script of old outdated ways of thought.

9.) In human form I hold the remote for flipping the station to a new neural pathway…..any time I choose. I am being patient and compassionate with myself as I unwind the confusion, hurt, and missed understandings.        

  *Now repeat your Intention Statement 3 times and let’s begin to Journal!

STEP SIX :
JOURNALING

Copy/Paste the questions below to your own laptop space and allow your fingers to dance across the keyboard in the name of self study and growth you courageous being!

THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS WILL HELP YOU EXTRACT GEMS

Now pick a situation that is weighing heavily on your heart and has not been emotionally processed yet. It could be a new or old situation. Answer the following integration questions with the intention to fully process, gain clarity, and integrate the teachings from this event.

When we extract the gems of difficult situations… we get to integrate the lessons and move on to a new chapter in our life…instead of recreating the same lessons over and over! Known as repetition compulsion.

You may choose to answer one question per day or maybe all of them at once. You might find it helpful to tap on your heart occasionally during this journal exercise. (as a way to stay “in your body” and not dissociate)

Another great hack is to choose an integration buddy to share your findings with and practice yoga and bio-hacking with!

WHAT IS THE STORY WITH THIS SITUATION?

This question is like a police report. Make it brief and concise and stick to the facts (as you see them). Only a few sentences as you don’t want to get stuck in “Story.” Example: This morning a stranger was harsh with me at the grocery store. They bumped into my cart and then yelled at me. They said that I am just in the way with an intensity in their tone. I couldn't stop thinking about what they said to me. That evening I was making dinner and the water boiled out of the pot and onto the floor and I started crying and couldn’t finish cooking dinner.

WHAT EMOTIONS DO YOU FEEL IN YOUR BODY AFTER READING THE STORY ABOVE?  You can use the “feelings wheel” (seen above) to help you find the emotions if needed. 

HOW DID YOU ARMOR YOURSELF?

Without judgment….close your eyes and feel into the styles of armoring you felt yourself exhibiting with this situation. Example: Did you laugh in moments where you actually felt awkward. Did you hold back authentic tears because you are uncomfortable crying in front of someone? Were you defensive?

WHAT IS THE ORIGINAL ORIGIN OF THIS TRIGGER OR TRAUMA?

This is another great question pulled from the book the Presence Process. How has this same situation shown up in your life before? Try to trace this “play out of events” back to the first moment you remember it playing out in your life.  For this question we want you to remain curious and simply observe it from the 3rd party perspective of your inner-observer.  It can be helpful to sit still and in silence for 5-20 minutes before answering this one. Note: Do not  get stuck in the muddy waters of blame, shame, or story.

IDENTIFY THE BELIEFS 

Time to travel into your brain’s neural network! Our behaviors are connected to self beliefs.  Example: If you believe you are not worthy, you will continue to date people that don’t treat you well. Find the beliefs that you created about yourself from the moment of original origin of this trigger or trauma.

IDENTIFY THE SURVIVAL METHODS
AT PLAY

This is where inner child work comes in. When your core needs are not met as a child you will develop a strategy or survival style to help you cope with the resulting feelings of pain and isolation. Take a moment to close your eyes and ask your inner child what his/her needs were in this situation. It can be helpful to meet your inner child in the same setting each time you hang out so the visualization becomes easier. Example: If you were raised with harsh criticism and rejection you may have developed a survival style of avoiding self assertion and expressions of independence because you experienced this kind of truth to be dangerous and isolating. Note: You can learn more about Survival Methods at the very bottom of this page.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING

Write this statement above down, and take a moment to have some self compassion. Remember, we are simply evolving out of survival methods. 

HOW DO I PLAY INTO THE REPETITIOUS PATTERN OF THIS TRAUMA?

Example: If you live with someone that is abusive, you are playing into this trauma by staying. 

WHAT ARE THE OTHER AREAS IN MY LIFE THAT NOTICE MYSELF PLAYING OUT THIS SURVIVAL METHOD?

Example: If you allow people to abuse you at work as well and stay at this job. 

OWNING / SPIRITUAL BYPASSING

If you are hurt by someone else’s actions in this trigger, what are the ways in which you might do this to others as well.  This question is about the smokey mirror.  Sometimes it can take years to see how a smokey mirror was trying to show you a needed upgrade. And sometimes you are most definitely not  doing anything wrong except staying near this person. But for shits and giggles, take a bite of humble pie for this question and try it on.  Ain’t no shame here….remember we are all learning and growing! (Unless you are far along on the narcissist spectrum and believe your shit don’t stank.)  With owning, you may not do this behavior to the degree that your “smokey mirror” is modeling for you…. but if you look deep enough within….. you are most likely rockin that behavior on some level. Pose a question to yourself….example: If someone is leaning on you too much ….who do you lean on too much? If someone is numbing out how do you numb out or armor? This is a great way to ensure that you are not spiritually bypassing.  Note: Self awareness is sexy and dissolves defenses….ain’t no room for shame here! Tell every cell in your being “you love yourself no matter what”… and dive in to the truth!

DISCERNMENT
Take a moment to think about the negative habits, addictions, behaviors that this person is modeling for you. Notice how they cope with stress. Do they all drink heavily? Do they practice training their mind and nervous system and de-stress their body? Do they sleep all day and smoke weed all night? Are they all getting greedy with mind altering substances and numbing out rather than doing the work to be of support to this world? Are they far along on the narcissistic spectrum? Staying out late at bars coming home drunk? With this observation you can choose to spend time with people that don’t do these things. 

PRACTICE LOVING KINDNESS
We all have light and dark within us. Take a moment to focus on the light in the person that hurt your feelings or triggered you.  What are their gifts? What have they overcome? How do they inspire you? Think about their life story. (as much as you can recall)

RECLAIM YOUR POWER

It’s time to take a stand and declare a new pathway! Say, “I am now calling all my power back to me!” Drawing from the questions above….create a new declaration! Flip the script of the old beliefs. Write down your new beliefs you have about yourself.

STATE YOUR NEW BOUNDARIES FOR OTHERS

Write what you are no longer willing to accept in your life from others.

STATE YOUR NEW BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF

Write what habits and survival methods you are no longer willing to play into .

BEST CASE SCENARIO PRAYER

If you could wave a magical wand and create beauty and healing that would up-level this situation to a higher level…what would you create? Write this one as a prayer. Example: I pray that I truly remember how powerful I am, and that universe has my back. I will continue to do the work to be healthy in mind and body to align with a higher timeline. I am praying for a situation where I can align with living in a safe place and working at a job where I am respected and valued will show up for me very soon. 

TAKE ACTION WITH YOURSELF

What Yogic Principles or Consciousness Methods will support you to come into alignment with better outcomes?  Name the principles and methods that will help you deepen in this new way of looking at life and making better choices. Examples: Karma Yoga / Or Cleaning the place you live if it was a fight about the home being messy. Dincharya or Daily Routine if you are not feeling in your power and running out of time which causes you stress. If you need help with this one, schedule a coaching session with Jess Lee. 

CLEARING DATE

Often when you finish this journaling exercise you will be ready to get curious about all parties involved in the outer world situations and triggers. This part can be very fascinating (even energetically orgasmic!) if there is a certain level of sobriety and maturity present.  If you choose to create a true deepening between you and the other people involved. Go through this journey of journaling and select the things your feel called to share with them. Then see if they are open to having a “clearing date” with you. Clearing dates are feeding this world peace one date at a time. If you need a mediator for this let Jess Lee know and she can see whom is available for your type of situation.  

SUPPLEMENTS THAT SUPPORT A CALM NERVOUS SYSTEM

The goal of this integration work is to practice stabilizing the mind without the support of external substances.  Yet, if you need some extra support choose supplements over numbing agents! Magnesium is a great go-to! Drinking some Magnesium (CALM) or spraying magnesium on your heart, or taking a magnesium tincture supplement helps many people find nervous system balance. Other supplements and flowers that support a calm nervous system are: passion flower, vervain flower, white chestnut flower, lavender, kava, valerian, lemon balm, tulsi.

STILL NEEDING MORE NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION HELP?

Ain’t no shame in asking for support if you are still feeling blue and confused! There are people that LIVE to be of service in this way! Find the support team you resonate with and reach out! Here is a link of my favorite integration coaches, counselors, therapists. 

You might even find a good friend that can help you get through the questions below… and then you will have some organized thoughts and realizations before your session with a counselor, coach or therapist. 

NARM THERAPY

Some people have a hard time identifying their survival methods. I know I did. Connect with a NARM coach or counselor to walk you through the survival styles you are currently exhibiting.

The Neuro Affective Relational Model (NARM) explores survival strategies of these unmet needs from our childhood. NARM is changing the face of psychology because it focuses on the present moment rather than psychology’s reinforcement of “the story” of childhood suffering. Learn more here:
NARM THERAPY


Here are 3 people in the Austin area that use NARM in their coaching / counseling / therapy: 

1.) Fadya Albakry
2.) Whitney Sutherland
3.) Monti Pal

Jasmine Rain, mentioned on our Integration Angels Page, is a certified NARM Counselor that offices out of Dallas. She also does video sessions world wide.

Or you can read the NARM book called, Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller, PhD & Aline Lapierre, PsyD.  This book will show you ways to organize your nervous system and evolve with more ease and grace. The NARM book goes over:

1. The general orientation of the 5 main survival styles
2. Gives a description of the early traumas that set the survival style in motion
3. Shares how the survival style impacts the adult nervous system & identity in present day.
4. Gives growth strategies for resolution and self regulation.